THE JOKING KILLER
Doing Time " H.M.P PORTERFIELD- H.M.P GLENOCHIL"
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"Porterfield"Inverness Prison

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Porterfield Prison

Inverness

A local prison normally for holding short term and remand prisoners, so to be amongst some short timers is rather a kick in the groin albeit I being a LTP ie long term prisoner has its advantages.

After I was sentenced the honourable Lord Mccauly never even came and shook hands strange as I thought being a Q.C he would have been delighted at the fact that I had got off with the initial charge MURDER.

then again going back to his advice had I took it and plead guilty to this charge I would have been sentenced to life imprisonment, for a Q.C not to even come and speak to me I find strange.

I find out my liberation date is 07/06/95

six years and eight months ahead of me.

NICE

I was allocated a cell on the ground floor and placed on strict suicide observation

not that at any time ,did I feel the need to commit suicide.

However after three days I was allowed to move to the top flat and share a cell with a local guy called pedro name changed

Fortunately for us our cell looked on to some private flats and we spent many an evening trying to gain a sight of one of the nurses in the flats opposite, but I must say it was more of a chore spending hours ,just for a fleeting glance of a nurse moving from bathroom to living room

and to this day I never saw anything I could write home about.

J.A.Y

was coming for a visit now and again, but soon reality struck home and we drifted apart, I was allocated a job in one of the sheds making camoflage nets for the M.O.D

to which I found rather labourious

I was pestering the S.P.S to get a move to Glenochil Prison as I had been in there as a Y.O and knew the place better than this victorian shambles of a place, made infamous through Jimmy boyle,s exploits, when he and a few other prisoners ,smashed through the cell walls, during the late 60,s.

My father managed a visit although it was a short one as he had difficulty finding the place

although, I had not seen my father for a few years , and until recently I hadnt admitted to him what had happened even if I had commited the crime.. I was to ashamed to admit it...

After nine months of this regime I was told i was moving to glenochil at last somewhere closer for my family to visit.

prison no.544/89  I  would  like  to point  out  that  I  hadnt came  across  any  drugs  or  alcohol in this  prison not  that i  had  any  inclination to do any, also my  appeal was lodged 

glenochil part 2

It was not long before all the halls were full approx 92 prisoners per hall ,three flats

and then three levels

Remember that during this time inside things were changing, you were allowed your own clothes ,duvet, radio cassette, curtains , where as before the prison clothed you , and supplied bedding , therefore saving the prison 1000,s of pounds yet conditions overall have not changed, putting a toilet in a cell is a step back, the smell alone must be over powering, as for slopping out there is nothing more degrading especially in the like of porterfield and saughton , not very pleasant when the cell is shared.

VISITS

the visits are ok in most prisons except for the strip search after , this is one of the most humiliating things I found while in prison considering I never took any thing through a visit except on one occasion and that was enough.

It was in 1990 that I was to try opiates for the first time and immediately I was hooked, things were to progress for the worse, and it was not long before I was addict chasing it every day, trying to feed a habit is hard when your only getting 6.70 a week you have to balance the books .. and it is quite simple to do ,without money ever entering the prison.. but that would telling.

smuggling

well i seen a few tricks and done a few myself for friends just for the earner and to feed my own habit and on the odd occasion , when a capture of contraband was made used to joke with the security S.O. name withheld

about prices and certain contraband

you see he was my wing officer when I did my detention, all in the best possible taste .

nothing better than being upfront having a bit of bottle which is what I put down to being on my own for 33 years, no one for back up, had to take care of myself numero uno

it was in my 2nd year a school friend came into glenochil doing 4 years , and then later my cousin, it was my cousin that got me going to the gym, not realising five years on I would still be working out daily, and even to this day I trained solid for 16 months 7 days a week to get back in shape

I would like to point out that while I served 6 years 8 months I could safely say that on one hand I could count the days that I was straight.

from acid to jellies ,now acid at 8am is a quick day believe even when your driving a tractor

, creativity in a tractor cutting lawns ask area manager of S.P.S. commented many occasions regarding penninghame grounds, chemical creativity sir dont knock it till you have tried it

one of my favourite past times while in glenochil was to learn and play mahjong to be corrected

with an architect angus and scrabble champion

quite funny as the nights we got stoned between 18.30pm and lock up...........dont bear thinking about..this is a different world in prison so if you have not been locked up you probably wont be able to relate to this story.......

coming soon waiting on

MAIL

to be  updated

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"Glenochil"Tullibody

Glenochil Prison

I was informed I would be moving to Glenochil

at last a prison that had far better facilities, compared to Porterfield, GLenochil is a hotel with a decent gym and was closer for visits

Prison no. 320/89

This prison was just getting back to normality, after the riots ,when the prisoners totally wrecked the place, there were five of allocated to D-hall bottom flat names escape me but I can remember some, nicknames used to protect the identities of the people I was going to spend a few years with..Kojak,steg, a guy from stirling

the others escape for the time being.

Glenochil was where I had had my initiation into the penal establishment,being sent to the Detention Centre at the ripe age of 17 for car theft, this was in 1977 when the regime was rather brutal, I will explain a little about the D.C.

Firstly as soon as you walked into reception after being sentenced a smack in the mouth was your welcoming gift, this was to let you know who was

Boss.

Then across the sterile area into the D.C

itself which consisted of three wings

A.B.C

I was allocated C-wing, this was a scary place believe me....

regime... bedblocks, square bashing, parades,kit changes ie. three times a day

physical education at its best

not forgetting freddie the cricket bat.

here at P.T you had to better your time everytime

if not freddie was brought out

no talking to any other prisoner

no using your slop bucket

inspection everyday

and a chiefs or P.O. s inspection on a sunday

wages basic grade 0.68p a week

yellow grade .78p a week

red grade 0.84p a week

no smoking

sitting with your arms folded at the visiting table, it escapes me ,why no-one has challenged this as an infringement of their human rights, maybe it will come, who knows I may raise the argument myself.

example

on a saturday you spent it getting your room not cell ready for inspection, however on this occasion, I had a dose of the trots and asked in the proper manner

excuse me sir may I go for a sit-down sir

Answer No.

reply two minutes later

Excuse me sir may I go for a shower sir

YES

you,ve guessed it I shit myself ,the whole bottom wing was rotten with the smell

but I got a shower.

Detention

was known as the short sharp shock, and it was

minimum was 8 weeks 5 days and a snap

a snap being your last morning, if you were caught snapping your fingers a report followed by a remissional deduction

and down grade if you had a grade.

Fortunately I only did the minimum, the maximum was 3 months.

Then you progressed on to

Borstal-Polmont

not -applicable to me

work parties in D.C were top shed scraping old glue off of disney badges or folding boxes to hold etch_a_sketch

nice

bottom shed was chopping sticks

or you could try for a cleaners job on the wing, alternatively

you could try for a job in the kitchen

which was handy as it let you off with P.T some times

my dates for this are

november 10th -1977- Jan 12th 1978

which I am certain will workout to 8 weeks 5 days and a snap

january 12th was my mothers birthday ,but my step-father who was a vicious and callous man had made it intolerable to stay there any more so I went and lived at my fathers in Crossgates Fife

four miles from Cowdenbeath , here I managed to secure work with Bill-jackson a panel-beater and spray-painter in Kelty, this was a short lived job, but I enjoyed my time there .

From there I managed to get a job a factory, which made water-proof clothing JELTEK now this is my kind of work place at least 250 women worked here.

At last I had got an interview for a job in the coal-mines and started working in Castlehill-mine by Oakley fife

Here I managed to hold this job down for four years+

only a short spell in prison stopped me from going back..

I ended up in menstire, clackmannanshire, with a girl called Mandy Geddes, this relationship was short lived to she played away from home..

I moved to Alva the next village along, and one week-end decided to go to Aviemore for the week-end

 

 

to-be-updated

Glenochil

work-parties

I guess this is where the bulk of the prisoners spend their day....in the sheds as they are known

1.Joiners

beats me why anyone wants to work here all you do all day is hit nails with a hammer, building sheds possibly for B.Q. who knows ? all I know is all that hammering would drive me nuts

2. Textiles

more or less as factory last time I was in this shed they were making donkey jackets not for the coal-board they no longer exist.. now I could have worked here if it was full of women alas not to be...

3.

vocational training

here you can wallpapering and painting

domestic repairs ie hoovers washing machines

and lastly radio , tv video repairs where I did a six month course in electronics ie

all these courses were city and guilds approved so at least you had something to show for all that time you were locked away...

4.

Engineers

Is that what its all about here I must have brazed together over 4000 post office trollies in a year, also there is welding and lots of grinding with angle grinders.. the noise again is tremendous

5.

upholstery

here you can learn how to build and repair furniture.. something I never felt the urge to do...

6.

G.R.P.

Now if the noise didnt kill you the smell of this shed would put you flat on your back...solvents is not my cup of tea...

7.

The pool party

here you do nothing and get paid nothing bar a basic wage.. although you can sit and play cards all day normally bella

do this and do that....

8.

Bomb-Squad

for those of you that do not know anything about prison, the bomb-squad is a party of men that go round outside the halls shovelling all the rubbish that is thrown out of the windows including you guessed shite-bombs personally I wouldnt sit on a toilet seat here so the norm is to get the old newspaper and parcel it up and hey out the window.....

being on the bottom flat has its disadvantages as well as its advantages..

not for me the bomb-squad

9.

halls

consisting of the hall cleaners and pantry men not a lot to do here but its a cushy no....work finished for 9.45am the rest of the day do what you like with in reason of course....I guess that why I decided on kit pass mans job for my last 8 months up at 6am but normally finished at 9am albeit a few personal washes for fellow prisoners that possibly had a visit that day.. you like to look your best for visits as for some that is the only contact with the outside world...

in here your a no.....and on the outside your no different...only the fence

what no. your national insurance no. is no different from a government no.. knowing your exact location place of work basically when you had your last shit...

so that covers employment in glenochil

to come

from dungavel we used to get taken to east kilbride swimming baths on a Saturday and Sunday

from penninghame

hill-walking glen trool let loose

As my first year is coming to a close I find out my appeal is coming up so a day out to Edinburgh is called for...

fuck me my appeal and the yugoslav hit-man decides he wants to appear at the same court....needless to say with the comments made by Lord.Mcauley that he felt his client was fortunate to escape the initial charge of murder , he sees no grounds for an appeal...if the right honourable gentleman had taken time to look into the case I would not have need to appeal in the first place.. with witnesses appearing in different locations at the initial trial jim cruickshank commiting perjury in the dock.... gary wilson not even called...not even my state of mind nor my alcohol level admitted at the trial nor the photograph taken in aviemore police station, possibly showing that you were lucky if I could stand never mind run 800yrds get a knife then return and stab someone all in 90seconds

I somewhat doubt if I was capable of making a concious decision that evening.....now if I was drunk and incapable..

does that therefore mean I was drunk and incapable of making a rational thought.

I am in receipt of a letter from northern constabulary regarding the authenticity of the evidence produced at the trial....along with the question as why did the two police officers which witnessed the deceased and j.cruickshank chase after me.. even when they have returned from the lane with the dog they failed to get off their arses and see what it was all about.....

I do not blame them all I am saying is this could have been prevented

not once but twice....

30/06/04

all for today back tomorrow

TJK

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