THE JOKING KILLER
H.M.P Dungavel
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STIRLING STRAIGHTS BEN LOMOND IN DISTANCE
benlomondmmcauley.jpg
MISS M HAVING A GOOD TIME..

 

H.M.P.

Dungavel

Once again I am on the move this time to Dungavel Lanarkshire, a strange place when you first come upon it ,however I once you arrive your first day is spent locating your way round all the corridors and of course there were prisoners that had moved from Glenochil, earlier that I already knew, I was only in the place a few minutes when a fellow con pulled me aside and off we went for a joint....my first taste of a semi-open prison things were looking up..

After an induction I was allocated a work party

which consisted of making the frames for high-chairs , I presume they were going to eventually end up at mothercare I suppose it was a good cause, Dungavels gym let a lot to be desired

after Glenochils this was the pits ,however it would suffice, as for the last 18 months I had been working out regularly and had a good build , the food was,nt to bad either, after a few weeks in the sheds I applied for a job in the gardens which would allow me to work outside the perimeter fence during the day...

Being a fifer means ,you don,t really get on with certain people and I took advantage of this by gaining a job clearing out drainage ditches

and by myself ,no-one to carry as I hate people , who don,t pull their weight.

I kept this job for roughly six months, and then applied for a work placement, which consisted of working outside the prison and usually in Hamilton.

I knew a placement was going to become vacant at Motherwell football club, although at the time I knew nothing of the jobs entailment..

However I got the placement and started going to M.F.C monday to friday getting dropped off in the morning and picked up at motherwell college at 4.20pm not bad out prison for the week , it was here I met soccer legend Davie Cooper scotland and rangers supremo, also a few other name drops Tam Forsyth ,Tommy Mcclean brother to jim dundee united also Phil Odonnel who went to CELTIC football club eventually, also simmy ,who broke Ian Durrants leg, honestly I could name drop all day.....

anyway I had a great time here and I would like to thank John Chapman and secretary at the time Alan Dick and of course the groundsman Andy Russell and ole Jimmy never got to know his second name, and also Karen one of the secretaries, whom I bought a colour tv from for christmas albeit I think I still owe her a few quid......any way I had a great time even snorted coke in the directors box, on numerous occassions.....I was only working her e a week and I met Gina Penman who ran the Fir Park cafe just across from the park, I was supposed to meet Gina one saturday while out for a weekend, but I had already been picked up by my current girl-friend margaret mccauley from Hillhouse ,Hamilton.

I met Margaret Mccauley about 8 years previously in Blackpool .I was to spend most of my weekends out with miss mccauley, mostly heading up to Oban after going to see my mother in Fife, no way I was spending a night under my mothers roof,my step-father to whom I still dislike, mainly for the abuse he inflicted on my mother and myself when I was only 13/14/15/ and we know why I didnt stay there,you see my step-father took my two dogs away one day and killed them they were surplus to requirements

two lurchers they were flag and duke oh yes even after 30 years I still remember their names, my step-father an evil man who still to this day is abusing my mother and her anti-depressants and alcohol..even denying her a weekend at my new house....after 18 months at fir park I was informed that I would be getting transferred to PENNINGHAME PRISON

a shame really because I would miss the money I received each weekend I was out from Dungavel courtesy of M.F.C. usually a sum of between 100 to 150 but I grafted for this even painting windows 60 foot up on the old stand at fir park.

I have many memories from this football but mainly meeting an legend

Davie Cooper

god bless

gone but not forgotten

I cannot remember exactly when I moved from Dungavel to Penninghame

prison no.78/91

Christmas Party

This was my first event of this sort and although I did not have any one coming to visit me I was sure the place would rock eventually, I was not to be disappointed, almost 150 prisoners and family and friends all having a ball ,hot-dogs, hamburgers, the works really as the authorities obviously wanted us to have a good time, never seen so much bevvy in a prison on one day, 1/4 and 1/2 bottles galore whiskey , vodka, barcardi , you name it , it was there tobbacco, even though I did not have anyone visiting I still ended up with a 1/2 bottle and a few ounces of golden virginia

After a few hours the place was really rocking , everyone having a ball of a time, it was a pity the S.P.S took the measures they did, to place a dark cloud over the event, up steps the Governer, mic in hand excuse me ladies and gents, due to us receiving a bomb threat we have to ask all families and friends to start leaving the prison, what about the prisoners ,are they allowed to be blown-up....nevertheless they all complied,

never seen so many drunk cons in my puff, while I was making my way back to the dormitory , I must have passed at least eight cons absolutey burling, some I would say didnt even remember they were in prison

after family and friends had left there was a lock down, it was later I was to discover that at eight prisoners had been shipped out for being drunk and were now known as the Dungavel eight cannot remeber names ,but I was not going to be very far behind them...

Severly-beaten-up

The dorm I was in overlooked the car-park which was handy ,when you were expecting a visit, however that is not the storyline in this paragraph, this is about magic-mushrooms, and some of the effects, there were four of us who had made a pot of tea, albeit with sillies as they are known

paranoia phenomenal

I remember being in the can when a fellow con came in and asked how I was ,I replied if they are half as paranoid as I was then they were in trouble...

A few weeks later ,while sleeping mind, I cannot say what time it was or what day, but I was awakened with a smack in the mouth, dragged from my bed and taken into the abloutions by the cons.

NAMED AND SHAMED

These three fellow cons or if that is what you would like to call them, stuart lafferty, tam (the mask)stevenson, and lasty vadiq lepowski

dragged me from my bed and preceded to knock the shit out of me , with shorten broom shafts, I just folded up into a ball until they were finished, I did not know when they would stop, eventually they did the reasons for this assault I do not know, but I can tell you this they were in a worst state ,for the next few weeks I carried on as normal, as mind over matter I they did not know what my actions were going to be I just waited and let them sweat it out.....however it was short lived as later that year I was to be carted myself back to Glenochil

caught in possesion of 48 temamzepam, albeit I had no idea how they were mine as even the holdall they were in wasnt even mine and despite my remonstrations with S.O. D. alexander I was shipped out, a nice thought as this was July 4th 1994 my last chance of parole , do they think I would be so stupid as to risk my alst crack at parole I had been a model prisoner up until this day

in the eyes of the S.P.S

so it was back to Glenochil on a rule closed visits not that I had any visits planned for my last year, I was allocated Ahall

to be updated

independence day

july 4th 1994

since my move back to Dungavel things have been running smoothly, work-outs back to normal benching 100kg+ against 72kg body-weight

only tomorrow is my last crack at parole having been knocked back 4 times prior mainly for not addressing my alcohol problem pity I did not have one, possibly more a drug problem now....

It need not have mattered at 3.45pm that afternoon in the gym I was summoned for a special search....shit I was only getting into my workout.....

now by this time even I have not tippled ,even to the extent I have forgotten it was the day before my last review , guess what 48 temazepam WOW how did they get there it was nt even my holdall only borrowed at the last moment after dinner....has lain in a work shed half the day...

my protests fell on deaf ears

I was in the back of a transit and on my way abck to glenochil on a rule P.F s investigation down the block my first taste of solitary after 3.5 years in semi-open and open prisons it was good to get behind the invisible fence as it is known

after a few days I have a visit from a governer name withheld lmao seemingly (d) hall and (c) hall are kicking off at dinner time and tea time I m an old head can I go and see if I can sort it out.. so Im off my rule and back into mainstream in (d) hall when a jail kicks off it for two reasons.. the supply has been cut or the visitors are getting harassed when they are coming in for visits.... if they get it half as bad as we get no wonder it must be an infringement after all your only visiting.....

after a week in (d) hall things are looking up ..a chappie from Irvine is looking for the tailors dummy as we call it.... after a brief meeting it is arranged

8 days later the hall is singing a nice little tune for every1 supply caught 5 or 6 get through

I then find out the P.F is taking no action regarding the 48 temazepam.. I then request to be transferred back to open conditions as I was innocent albeit I never got parole either suspicion is all they need a great rule for the prison one they do not have to prove.

so if I am to be stuck in glenochil for last 11 months lets have some fun.....kicking off usually ended up with a trip to the surgery where 30 ml of liquid valium was given then it was a gracefull stroll back down the hall and smile at everyone....

including the S.O. whom you had threatened to throw the micro wave trough the office window at....all in a prisoners line off duty...

then you have student s that come round for a gawp..........to see all the bad men

not realising that just one turn of events , a second in time they could end up in this jungle, its here the show normally begins....

glenochil makes one flew over the cuckoo s nest look like kindergarten

pay-days are the best to see the amount of cash that is actually flowing in a jail.. who is doing what , where , and when ... discretion is here

I remember a flask getting captured one week-end and on the way up the russian front chatting to an officer and joking yes but you missed the three that came in the weekend before.....that is only one way...to which I will not reveal no more its not fair...

HASHISH,AMPHETIMINES,OPIATES,JELLIES,MOGADON,VALIUM,ACID,HEROIN
ANYTHING  I MISSED,DRAGGED  FROM MY  BED  BY  THREE CONS ,BEATEN UP.......PARANOIA...MAGIC-MUSHROOMS
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